Date Two...Chemistry..(more than a science subject i failed in school)

He has a great smile,

So we make small chit chat on 'the weather'…
Damn he smiles again…
In my stunned state, he swoops in for the kill and asks me for my PIN that we might speak after this apparent kismet encounter…
I think hmm…he's too nouveau-school to ask for my number but I'll go along for the ride anyway...
He types 234ABC56... i accept...
Two days later, he sends me a message to go get drinks...i accept
We sit at the table…small chitter chatter here and there until...
My eyes drift away and my focus is less on his killer smile, his handsome face, his sharp stylings or his sexy yet lanky figure…
The undertaker soon arrives to scoop up what’s left of my interest after the horrific clash between his droning and my enthusiasm…
His pheromone-boosted cologne makes one last concerted effort to revive my waning participation but alas it is too late...there are no fireworks, our chemistry is D.O.A. with a firm D.N.R order tagged to its left toe... 

beep beep beep beep...

…flatline…

Chemistry…its more than a subject I failed at CXC...it’s a vital component of courtship that makes or breaks it. It is the driving force between unions; the ignition and the ultimate catalyst for relationships; it’s the verbal or nonverbal, conscious or unconscious stirrings caused as a result of your interaction with the other person; the natural, mutual romantic attraction that results from a mixture of physical attraction and mutual personality-based rapport; the desire to be in tandem and inquisitive about each other;  the rapid heartbeat, the shortness of breath or the unsuspecting smile that forms upon thought - - it is beyond scientific, its turbo charged holistic attraction and essentially what sustains relationships over the years. 

Whilst instant chemistry is a delightful start to any courtship, it’s also a deceptive little bugger that often enough isn’t apparent from the jump. Asides from the people who believe in true love at first sight, normal persons like myself say honestly that we are lured in by aesthetics i.e. how big her boobs are, how striking his butt is et al. Then he/she has about 5-10 minutes in the moment to seem ‘interesting’ enough to make you desire to see them again. Providing they accomplish this, digits and PINS might be exchanged.

The waiting is over and its time for that ‘initial conversation’…disappointingly, it stutters and stalls more than a Lada in heat. You find that you two have very little to talk about but fine. I mean its unnerving being around someone you think is totally awesome so lets chalk it up human nature and nerves…

Bam! its round two and this should be the indicator of sparks but whilst you both love the colour orange, like to sip on green tea and disagree on euthanasia…its still all just a bit *insert sound effect* womp womp wooooomp…

What went wrong? There’s simply no chemistry…

Chemistry is one of those things you either have it with the person or you don’t. It's one of the few things in life you can't learn and can't teach nor can it be bought or sold. You, as a couple, either have it or you don't whether its sexual or not...

A tip tho: In those initial convos, strive to ‘get to the know’ the person without making it into an inquiry. If you must, make a list of general topics you’d like to discuss because nothing I find is more annoying than a barrage of reporter questions…we’re not on a shooting range nor am I on trial. It’s also perfectly normal to disagree on some points as constant agreement is boring *say no to yes men*… but please…be respectful, we’re just talking, not fighting for world domination. 

Chemistry is the start or end of it all and as such starts with having mutual interests. If we click on emotional or intellectual grounds, it’s a welcoming beginning and the more we have in common is the more we’ll connect and stay in each other’s thoughts. 

Chemistry is vital, but it is not to be confused with compatibility which is just as important as an individual trait. Chemistry is the natural connection that you have with someone whilst compatibility is a partnership of similar goals. You can have chemistry but no compatibility. They can make your insides race but deep down but deep down you know this ish won’t be good for you.  You’re literally just in it for the ride and to see how deep the rabbit hole goes. I’m testament to that…this fellow and I had some awesome…pshka I mean super ridiculous chemistry…sent my heart and loins a-flutter every time I saw his face, heard his name, smelled his cologne or made some association however we weren’t compatible in the long run and I felt I needed more. We disagreed on major life decisions and went our separate ways but to date, I don’t think anybody has matched that fellow in the interest pique-levels...  

*brb.. takes a quick cold shower to ward off the feelings of reminisce that are emerging*

Chemistry is the start or end of it all. It’s like a natural closeness…you’re comfortable gabbing away about any and everything yet just as comfortable in silence; its that feeling of ease right off the bat with someone… feeling like you've known them a long time even if you haven't… its 'that' connection that makes you relate to the sappy R+B songs and makes you want to buy bundles of Hallmark cards...

And while chemistry isn’t everything it is indeed the most potent and most desired… Courtship's most powerful signals are unheard, untouched and unseen and chemistry is that essence that makes you wanna slay dragons and scale mountains to fuel the passion… my beakers and your bunsen burner should always be in tandem.