Randomly New Yet Seemingly Interesting Boy: Hi.. what's up?
TR: Hey.. Nutten much. deh ya innu...
Randomly New Yet Seemingly Interesting Boy: So quick
question...are you single...
TR: Err.... ahmm... i guess... *turns bright red*
Randomly New Yet Seemingly Interesting Boy: How comes..?
What's wrong with you..?
TR: Err.. ahm.....*sputters and stalls*
Are you single....?
Such a simple yet terribly loaded question that slaps us in the face all
the time. We are prompted on the daily to declare to the world our state of
affairs whether it’s checking that ominous little box on an application form or
directly stating that you run solo.
Why does one little word have so much power..?
On one hand... being single is liberating.... I do what I want without
'reporting' to anybody, I’m not committed to participate in valentines day or
any kind of lover’s hogwash, I flirt with all and sexy sundry as well as I am
devoid of the ‘property rights drama’ that usually accompany wankers and schlongs.
However, as a stately single siren… I’m also liable to lonely nights, less
presents to unwrap come birthday and christmas time, gas instead of butterflies
in my tummy and having to constantly justify why I’m in 'that' state…
For starters, there is nothing wrong with me… ok fine… nothing majorly
wrong with me…lol…so then why am I single? …
The most obvious answer is choice… I’m picky and careful where I throw
my affections. I refuse to kiss frogs to pass the time and to prove to others
that I’m viable however ‘concerned’ friends and ‘button pushers’ beg to differ.
One school of thought is that I probably should gingerly make my way
through trolls and toads to see what’s out there. It’ll help, says my friend,
in establishing my criteria, so when I find what I want, I’ll hold onto it.
Now while I will agree to go on ‘dates’ (even if I already
know from the jump that the suitor stands no long term chance) just for the
heck of entertainment, I’ve set no major expectations nor do I use them as
measuring sticks. I don’t think it’s that hard to formulate a basic working
list of what you’re looking for once you’ve been in at least one serious
relationship or you’re comfortable and grounded in your own skin. I don’t
necessarily have to go through schools of fools to establish my principles or
discover what traits I need in a mate.
Friend 1: But T,
“humans need companionship and you’re
incomplete without a mate”
Without sounding totally feminist, I can and
will state that I don’t need a mate to ‘complete’ me...I was never and will
never be half a person nor will any one person be my ‘everything’. Different
relationships whether platonic or amorous serve various purposes and it is the
summation of our relationships with all persons that makes us whole…not a
relationship with one person…
Friend 2: T,
“time is running out”
Whilst you might believe gravity and death are knocking at your front
door, I’m far from being headlining the Phyllis Diller-wrinkly faced-ovaries
soon to be shutting down club. Some persons wish and clamour for certain things
to happen at certain stages but I don’t clown myself into believing that I have
total control over my ‘life timetable’.
Then there are those who try to make you feel bad for your seemingly
'pitiful' status. I know one such lagoon-dweller that every time she sees me,
it’s the second question out of her mouth and she looks at me displeasingly
when I say its 'just me'.. I mean she’s right...i don’t have kids and I’m not
engaged. I've clearly let my entire gender down so bind my hands and feet and
leave me on a fire ant hill…
I’ve plumb run out of ‘politely-rude’ answers for her….
The truth is, there are a lot of glittery options out there competing
for our attention – friends, shoes, professional success, super cute hamsters,
chippies plantain chips and all the people in the world we haven’t yet dated
yet blah blah blah but it really does come down to seizing it the opportunity
when you think the time and the suitor are in sync..
not on anybody's else's whim..
in my case, i mean, why settle for less when Idris Elba is in my reach..
;-)
oh the paradox of choice…
Singledom--wow lol
ReplyDeleteYou've made some valid points...and I am also from the school of thought that experience is the best way to formulate what you do in fact want in an ideal partner...you either add or subtract from the list. As you get older what you may or may not have been attracted to sometimes becomes the one thing you detest. My advice is not to kiss many frogs but to in fact date. Set boundaries for this dating status and experience other males. It is through this that I have finally decided what I do in fact love or HATE about a man and how I want to be treated.
That Elba guy is like 38... or you prefer them older :)
ReplyDeleteHow old are you? And dont give me that "women dont reveal their age" poppycock.
@ kim...i guess i'll look into it..call me the frog charmer lol
ReplyDelete@ gio... i don't care how old elba is with his fine behind.. him cudda and wudda get it lolololol.... now abt my age..im legal.. that's all that matters :)